It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over
by jazzjackrabbit
Summary: To appreciate the afterlife you have to go throught the hardships of the life. But can you really do that when the reason that you are created and live for chooses another path?


**Disclaimer:** not mine…and song belongs to Lenny Kravitz!

**rabbit's note: **well guys its just something I started. I already wrote half of the next chapter which will be the last chapter. This is to apologize from my readers for taking so long while writing FITG. But have no fear, chapter 26 is with my beta right now! I hope you will enjoy this and let me know what you think because I have that huge fear of not being able to keep them canon while writing a fic that is parallel to the real plot line. read-enjoy-review!

It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over

here we are still together  
we are one  
so much time wasted  
playing games with love

so many tears I've cried  
so much pain inside  
but baby it ain't over 'til it's over  
so many years we've tried  
to keep our love alive  
but baby it ain't over 'till it's over

how many times  
did we give up  
but we always worked things out  
and all my doubts and fear  
kept me wondering yeah  
if I'd always always be in love

so many tears I've cried  
so much pain inside  
but baby it ain't over 'till it's over

_It Ain't Over Till its Over_

Rukia looked at the invitation longingly. Her hands were shaking and she felt the tears threatening to fall down from her pale cheeks. Nobody said that giving up on someone you loved was easy. And in her case it was beyond just love, it was understanding, it was the filling of emptiness inside of her, it was the end of her loneliness; thought she didn't know if it was the same thing for him. In a sense, she was trying to do the thing that she was supposed to do; she couldn't be selfish. But she was also being selfish in another sense. She just couldn't sit and watch him spend his time in the real world for nothing. True, heaven was not 'nothing', but it was supposed to be something that he was going to deal with _after_ _death_, not while he was _living_.

She sighed and turned the envelope in her fingers. Normally news would travel through hell butterflies, but this was different. This was the invitation for the Captaincy Ceremony which was going to be held in a few months, probably in winter to make it possible for others to attend. Soul Society didn't have winters, but Rukia loved winter time in the real world. In here it was somewhat always sunny in the morning and cold at night. But the weather didn't change much, neither did the sky.

Rukia slowly raised her face up into the sky watching the white fluffy clouds passing over the sakura trees. Once Ichigo told her that the clouds were the main reasons for storms, rain and snowfall. But the clouds in Soul Society didn't cause any of that. They were probably just spirit particles traveling from one side to another. Snow and the cold weather it would bring was another thing that she missed about the real world. She even loved what humans called 'frost bite', the small tingling sensation and then the warming up. It was cute, it was like being _alive_; but of course Ichigo hated it and never let her stay outside, claiming that she would catch a cold and he would have to look after her sorry ass. She giggled upon remembering his scowling face and how he dragged her into the house when he found out that she was sneaking outside to sit under the snowfall. She also remembered how he made her wear his big socks and forced cold medicine down her throat. The (in)considerate jerk.

Her door slid slowly and she looked at the intruder from her spot on her porch. It was Renji, holding the same envelop as her in his hands. He silently approached where she was sitting and sat Indian style next to her; that was some habit that he picked up in the real world.

"So you got the invitation huh?" he asked. Rukia could sense the impatience in his tone, but she had no idea what he was thinking or why he was being impatient.

"Yeah I got it… What's wrong Renji? Is something bothering you?" Rukia asked softly. Renji turned and looked at her, his expression showed that he was lost, and when he blinked that confirmed Rukia's suspicions.

"Woman, when did you become so wise? You should be kicking my butt all over the place while yelling at me to tell you what ever the problem was… Instead you are sitting here and asking politely, dare I say caringly." Renji tried to tease her, but Rukia got the message.

She had changed and she knew that. All of them had changed. The war had great affects on their personalities. Even Renji looked more mature lately. He was calmer and he could control his actions, and dare she say, started to think before he acted. She smiled sweetly at him, which was pretty out of character for Rukia and that scared the shit out of Renji. Then she turned and continued to gaze longingly at the sky.

"I guess we all changed in a sense. I started to appreciate every second that I am able to spend with the people that I care. You can't know what's going to happen next. And people shouldn't break each other's hearts for nothing. That's humans' real problem. They don't understand how short their life on earth is. They just spend it with conflicts and competitions. They break up, they make up, leave their houses, parents. They fall in and out of love. But all in all, they don't know how to appreciate everything that they have. But I guess it would be unfair to judge them since I don't know how to appreciate it even if I have been living for the last 150 years," she said and looked down at the envelope in her hand.

"I guess you are right. We don't know it either even if we have been living for a very long time. We have been through a lot of things together, yet I left you," Renji said. When Rukia looked at him from the corner of her eye, she saw his dejected look. She gently stretched out a hand and placed it on his back, slowly rubbing it.

"Don't worry about it Renji, I'm not going to hold it against you… But I'm not going to forget, either. Though I really needed you at that time, the things you have done for me is incomparable. You will always be my friend and I will always be by your side."

"But you will never trust me like that ever again…" Renji murmured.

"If it helps, I trust you in other ways. But you are right; I won't be able to trust you in that way again, not in this century at least." Rukia answered his silent question and withdrew her hand to rest it in her lap.

"So are you coming to the ceremony? Ichigo and others are going to be there," Renji said, gazing up at the sky with his friend.

"Of course I will, why would I not? Besides Ukitake Taicho said it was time for him to have a lieutenant," she said smiling. Renji turned and looked at her dumbfounded.

"ARE YOU GOING TO BE PROMOTED?!" he said, getting on his feet and yelling at her. The old Renji was back. Rukia sighed and tugged at his hakama. He lost his balance and fell down with a thud.

"Be quiet, you are going to disturb Nii-sama!" Rukia hissed while her grip on his red ponytail tightened. Renji growled and Rukia hissed and let go of his hair.

"Yeah, I'm being promoted and I expect you to be calm about that…" There was horror written all over Renji's face. His left eye twitched.

"You are becoming like Taicho with every passing moment…" Renji said, narrowing his eyes and piercing Rukia through and through. She sent him a cold glare and continued to look ahead.

"So how do you think it's going to be? I mean Ichigo and others coming?" Renji asked tentatively, knowing too well that it was a touchy subject for Rukia.

"How should I feel? I missed my friends…" she answered nonchalantly, almost deadly. Renji knew the reason well.

"And you know that Ichigo is dating Inoue-san, right?" Renji pushed it a little.

"Yeah, I am the one who told that idiot to open his eyes. I mean come on, she was…well you know Inoue has been in love with him for a very long time. Besides, they make a good couple. They both have orange hair and she is nearly as tall as Ichigo…" her voice trailed down.

"I didn't know that you were such a coward," Renji pointed out accusingly. Rukia sighed next to him and moved to get on her feet. When she was up she dusted her hakama and put the envelope in her gi.

"I didn't expect you to understand back then, and I don't expect you to understand now," she said and turned her back to leave Renji sitting where he was, looking smaller then ever, crushed under the weight of her answer. That was the real problem, wasn't it? Renji never understood her like Ichigo did…

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Ichigo was not listening to a single word that their teacher was saying. He wasn't paying attention to his classmates or anyone in the room either. His attention was set on the window. It had been that way for the past few months. He expected everyday for her return and kick his ass in front of his friends, but she never came, and she was not coming back. Though Ichigo knew that, he couldn't help but wait for her return. She always came back, always. Why wasn't she coming back again? He did everything that she told him. He treated Orihime well; he even made peace with his father and tried to be there for his sisters more. That was living and she told him to go and live.

"_Rukia!" Ichigo yelled from below to the girl who was sitting on the tree. She looked down at him with a mischievous smile playing on her lips._

"_Do you think a tree can kill me when I survived through Hueco Mundo?" she asked playfully. A vein popped on Ichigo's forehead, his hand on his hips._

"_No midget, it's time to go…Get your freaking ass down here!" he yelled back with his hands on his hips. Then he crossed his arms over his chest and started to wait for her to come down. But she didn't. She averted his gaze and her serene expression changed into a disturbed one. Then she jumped down and landed in front of him._

"_I can't go back to the real world with you Ichigo…" she said, her head was bent forward and her eyes were hidden behind her bangs. Ichigo gently gripped her shoulder to get her attention._

"_What do you mean Rukia?" he asked softly, but Rukia could read the confused expression on his face._

"_You know that I belong here," she answered his question. But Ichigo didn't take that answer like he should, with understanding._

"_What is that suppose to mean?! We saved their freaking asses, surely they would let you live wherever you want!" his voice was rising with every word and his grip on her shoulder was tightening._

"_It has nothing to do with them. Technically, I'm _dead_ and you are _alive_…" she stated but Ichigo cut her with a cold glare._

"_You're not going to tell me to go and live my life like a normal person will, right?" he asked, narrowing his eyes._

"_Hell no! You can't be normal, how can a retard like you be normal?" she asked and then kicked his knee to get free, which of course worked, and was followed by some colorful words from the orange haired boy. She tried to shunpo away, but he caught her and his grip on her wrist tightened as if daring her to try and escape again._

"_I'm not joking Rukia…" he started with a very serious tone._

"_And when did you start to get serious?" she asked, arching an elegant eyebrow at him. His other hand reached down and grabbed her other wrist. There was hope in his eyes and she hated herself for being the murderer of that. She wanted see him happy, always. But that was not something that could come with being with her, not right now at least. She sighed with defeat and moved her wrists. When he released them she held his large hands and looked at him._

"_I'm not telling you to live a normal life. All I'm saying is that you should go and _live_. I am dead and this place is the land of the dead, you still have time to join us in here and all I want is for you to use that time as efficiently as you can, so that you will appreciate life itself. You should graduate; you should go to college and get married. You can't appreciate the after life unless you know the hardships of the real one. You have to see through the pain and happiness for your soul to develop and mature. I didn't have that chance and I still wonder about the life in real world. You have the chance and I want you to use it. I will still be here, the life span of a human is really short, trust me," she said, giving his hands a gentle squeeze to make her point and assure him at the same time._

"_But I can still do these things you said! I'm not saying that I'm going to live here and abandon my life in real world! I'm simply telling you to come with me," he reasoned, at least according to his understanding. Rukia chuckled and gave another squeeze to his hands._

"_That's exactly what I am saying. You and I belong in different realms. My duty here is to be a shinigami and protect you while you are living and help your soul to reach over here when you are dead. I will come over and visit you when I have a mission in the real world, of which I highly doubt there will be many. Since Aizen is gone, local shinigamis will be enough," Rukia said apologetically._

"_You mean you are going to stay here, huh?" Ichigo asked a little unbelievingly. His head was bowed and his eyes were hidden behind his orange bangs. Rukia sighed and did what she always wanted to do. She gently tugged at his hands and pulled him towards her, and then she hugged him. Ichigo stood there dumfounded for a few seconds and then he embraced her back a little more strongly then she did._

"_I want you to come with me Rukia. If you stay I can't leave…" he said while hugging her more tightly to himself. Rukia spread her little hands on his back and gave him a squeeze before she let go of him, but he didn't let go of her._

"_But you are going to leave anyway. That's the cycle of life…that's how its supposed to be. Besides, Orihime needs you," she said, and looked at his face only to see that lost expression._

"_Inoue?" he asked._

"_Yes, dumbass! She likes you… It's more like she loves you but I don't want to scare you by saying that. I know you are a prude…" she claimed matter-of-factly._

"_I AM NOT A PRUDE! Just because I'm not like Keigo doesn't mean I….well forget it. I just don't feel like that towards Inoue," he said, scratching the back of his neck. Rukia giggled and slapped his arm. Ichigo looked dumbfounded, that was so NOT Rukia._

"_Well idiot, you can always give her a try. I'm sure she will be happy and…I'm sure she can make you happy, but try to send her to a culinary school or something. Or better yet, you can trick Yuzu into teaching her how to cook, or else I swear you will end up here earlier than you should!" she said still giggling, which looked strange, since Rukia was not the most giggly person that Ichigo ever knew, but he liked that side of her. It was not like the fake ones that she did during school, it was a normal, genuine, girly giggle. He wondered if Rukia ever had a teenage girl period of her life. She probably didn't, like she didn't have a childhood. That was the only explanation he had for her obsession over that ugly rabbit._

"_If that's what you really want, I will do it," he said, then sat down on the grass. She looked down at him and ruffled his orange hair._

"_No silly, don't do it because I tell you to. Do it because you want to!" she cheered again uncharacteristically._

But little did she know that all Ichigo wanted was to stay there with her, or take her back with him, but what he wanted was simply something that he could never have, not right now at least. Besides, falling for a dead woman was not the healthiest human behavior, but who said he was 'healthy' or 'normal'? He looked over at Orihime who was sitting in her desk, trying to take notes. He would copy her notes later. Besides, it was diverting his attention from her nonsense talking when they were having tea. Ichigo kept his word to Rukia and started to date Orihime, but they were going nowhere. He couldn't even find it in himself to hold her hand let alone kiss her or something. Of course, she was just giving it up to his shyness, but Ichigo knew it was not like that. He simply didn't want to.

Though he became a devoted 'fan' of her cooking hoping that it would cause him to end up in Soul Society earlier than he should. So far it didn't seem to work, but he still had hope. He tried to suppress a smile that was threatening to spread across his face. Everyone thought that they were a great couple and as Rukia predicted, everyone thought that they were well suited. Some people were saying that they were meant to be together, that they were created for each other. But Ichigo knew better. He wasn't created for Inoue Orihime; he was created for Kuchiki Rukia as a payment for her hidden kindness, strength and tolerance for the things that fate threw her way. He was hers and he strongly believed that somewhere in time she was his; she was created for him to balance his heart and soul, to guide him in his life and death. Ichigo simply believed that she was the reason for his existence. He was born to save her from that execution, he was born to be there for her, to protect her and sometimes even understand her. And she was born to turn him into a shinigami, to make him the man that was strong enough to protect the ones he loved. She was born to help him to save heaven, save Inoue, and save other humans from a disastrous end. Everything was happening for a reason and Rukia was his reason as much he was her reason. If only he could make her see that…

He suddenly jerked out of his daydream with a hand on his shoulder. He turned and looked up at the person and saw the smiling face of his _girlfriend_. He tried to smile, like Rukia said, he was giving her a chance but he also felt that it was so wrong, like he was doing something very, very wrong which would end with heartbreak. He slowly rose from his chair and followed her to the rooftop where they met their other friends for lunch. Everything was the same, exactly the same as the day before. Of course, up until the end of the lunch break…

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Ichigo looked at the scene in front of him. Rukia sitting at the top of the teacher's desk with her legs crossed and dangling, she was wearing the school uniform, Renji standing next to her with his back to the blackboard, Hisagi with a funky smirk on his face, Hitsugaya Toushiro with that ice cold glare, daring him to call him by his first name, Matsumoto freaking Rangiku (Keigo was going to be ecstatic) along with the two guys who seemed to be everywhere, Yumichika and Ikkaku, namely, Hitsugaya's advanced force.. The original staff from the previous visit, the last visit before the war before Karakura went through that battle of life and death.

"Is that how you greet you nakama? Did I not teach you anything at all?!" Rukia yelled at Ichigo while at the same time flying towards him with a kick which of course hit Ichigo square in the face. He stumbled and held the sides of the classroom door to maintain his balance. Orihime cheered next to him and immediately grabbed Rukia to crash her bones and both girls were hugged by a very cheerful (and probably drunk) Rangiku.

"Sorry Ichigo, we stopped by at Kurosaki Taichou's clinic to have a cup of tea and give out his invitation," Renji said apologetically, looking over at the girls who were playing 'who can smother Rukia with her breasts first'. Ichigo thought that it was enough of an explanation for Rukia's Isshin-like behavior at the beginning. Of course, before he could make another comment his friends barged into the scene and the usual festivities of a reunion started to take place. The opening scene was the same, as always, Keigo flying over Matsumoto and her knocking him 'dead' with a move of her wrist.

They stayed for the rest of the day as _guest students _from a school abroad. Seeing Rukia sitting in her old desk, even if they couldn't be alone at the moment, made Ichigo's heart fill with unimaginable content. He just needed to see her here, he just needed to know that she was breathing the same air as him, he just needed to know that she was still existing…for him.


End file.
